How can I release these anxious feelings of comparing my past actions and efforts to my current actions and efforts; saying I used to try harder or do more than I do now?
Now. Now is all that matters. The past can serve as a teacher, or even as inspiration, but it does not need to serve as something for the ego to attach to. Was the activity that you were doing "better" then even aligned? Or were you forcing and grinding yourself into abuse and self-loathing? If it was aligned, then you must trust that there is a reason why its not aligned now. Otherwise, if it is aligned now, why aren't you doing it?
There is no need to look to the past to compare in distain. For now if your body feels weary and longs for bed, then it can have the bed. There is nothing wrong with allowing that and feeling good and happy and content with that choice. There is no need for shame around making space for rest in the body. If the body is yearning for more movement, then give it movement. Give it movement in the exact time and way in which it desires movement. It is that simple. There is no need for routine when you connect to self deeply, for self will always guide you to the highest place of the present moment. You don't need to trust the ego of someone else over your own intuition. This is nonsense.
Take time to be in the body each day, but this can be in stillness; just listening. This doesn't have to translate to movement. As long as the body stays in connection, all is well. It is natural for the body to want rest some days. Honor that. Listen without judgement. What would you tell yourself if you were your own child that you so adored? Show yourself love and compassion. Always.
